This sucks, or….
What an awful part of my life.
I lost my husband.
This is not my hometown.
My children don’t live nearby.
My job is entirely remote.
Though I love my dog, not having contact with live humans for hours or days at a time makes my mind and my heart and my soul squirm.
This whole situation is terrible for my mental health.
Two of my co-workers were cut earlier this year, and we survivors inherited their employees and their responsibilities. We seem to have inherited their hours as well. We did not, however, inherit a penny of their pay.
And I’m quite sure I was next on the list to be cut. Sometimes I wonder about the outcome of that one.
Am I living under a curse or is this a big blank slate?
rebuildingholly 
Oh, Holly, I’m so sad for you. Do you enjoy your job, at least? Though you work remotely, are you able to have “coffee breaks” to chat and laugh with coworkers? Do you go for walks with your dog and meet neighbors you might chat with, even from across the street? Is moving closer to children an option, especially since you work remotely anyway? That’s probably something you’ve already considered, I suppose… Each day can you start naming three things you are grateful for?
I enjoy most of my job. I enjoy working with words, and I enjoy “developing people” (teaching them to write and edit, helping them reach the career goals they set, and helping them be happy with their work life). The problem is that the current fad in corporations is “projects,” which take about 80% of a person’s hours. We also have meetings to talk about projects and about why we’re not getting our work done. These projects aren’t exactly sequencing DNA….
I have the best co-workers! They, however, are suffering from project and meeting overload as well, so we steal time away to chat (via Zoom) as we can. I walk a lot with my dog, and a cute, goofy Labrador is the ultimate icebreaker. I chat with neighbors as well. So yes, there are things I enjoy and have gratitude for, so I try to focus on those things (there’s your suggestion of naming things I’m grateful for 😉 My ultimate goal is to move closer to my children, but right now that’s like the goal of moving into a gypsy camp. They’re not quite settled yet.
The current limbo is uncomfortable, and aloneness magnifies that. I do have hope for my life. It’s amazing how quickly life can change, but it will change back again. Thanks for reaching out 🙂