The Only Thing That Is Constant…

I’m joining the legions of other bloggers with sorry excuses for NOT writing anything for a while.  The good news is that the swearing ban is off, as that was officially for Lent, and now that Easter has come and gone–and it was a damn fine day!–I’m free to be as expressive as I like.  Hey, I don’t hold anything against any of you who haven’t written regularly.  Personally, I am not a journalist here.  That’s probably painfully clear.  You know me–I’m here only to air my dirty laundry.  In a totally honest way, of course 🙂  Maybe I achieve a little clarity along the way, too.

But really, winter is lingering far too long in the Upper Midwest, the snow is still covering the ground, and we’ll be lucky to reach the mid-40s this week.  I went searching for my crocuses yesterday, because DAMMIT it’s April and those things should be dead and gone and shriveling up to make way for the daffodils.  Maybe some rodents had eaten them…I found the crocuses’ poor, frightened little stripy leaves just barely pulling themselves out of the earth for a peek at surface conditions.  They were not pleased.  Guess it sucks to be a crocus these days…

today's snow

today’s snow

Constant change has found me again (with the exception of winter weather).  My son is moving back home for a while.  I would never have expected it a month ago, but here it is.  His lease was up at his apartment in southern Wisconsin, and he was having little luck finding an apartment in Milwaukee.  Only one person returned his call after leaving twenty messages, and lots of apartment offices were closed when he went to visit the complexes.  We also have concerns about finding a safe place to live in that city any more.  (Love to visit there, but the crime rate seems to be crazy.  A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine was moving her son out of Milwaukee to come home–similar circumstances as my boy, by the way.  He stopped at an ATM in one of the safer suburbs, and a man ran up and stuck a gun six inches in front of his face and stole the boy’s wallet.  I hear way too many stories like this…)  I think I’ve also mentioned the punch in the gut that is today’s student loans.  My son was really looking forward to paying those back, and his payments start at the end of April.  Finally, the clincher was Easter, when he broke up with his girlfriend.  He’s known for quite a while that the relationship wasn’t quite healthy and that a breakup was inevitable.  However, one of the last straws for that camel’s back was when the girlfriend showed up at his place cradling her little rat of a dog to bring up to our house, and then to my nephew’s for Easter.  She never asked if it was all right, and she knows our dog isn’t even allowed in certain parts of the house, but she told my son that she just couldn’t sleep without her dog (four years of college, and now she can’t sleep without it?!!).  Anyway, it was just one of many last straws that weekend.  I’ve never seen my son so mad, but he kept his cool, drove her back to collect her things from his place and took her to her home.  So for now, he doesn’t want to live alone and is settling back in here.  We’ve all felt the pain after a breakup, even if you initiated it.  Healing takes time.  All in all, it’s a very reasonable plan.  He’s been working hard, being helpful, and with his lovely computer-world income, he’s very likely to pay off his school loans in a year.  Then he’ll be a free man, indeed!  Lucky duck.

On the other side, please help my daughter find an internship.  Please!  Yeah, say you need some well-educated chick to work for free (because that’s how they run this legal slavery ring these days) and do your event planning for the summer; I will pack her up and ship her to you.  She’s graduating summa cum laude (yay!) from one of the best schools in the hospitality field, yet she’s nearly begging for work.  Competition is fierce for slave positions as well as for those positions for free men and women.  I guess it may be just a little early for us to be anxious about this–I think some employers get back to prospective interns at the end of April or the beginning of May.  However, I’m anxious to know where we’re going to move her after we fly out to the East Coast for her graduation, and I’m anxious to figure out how we’re going to get her there.  Life is full of mysteries.  Mommyhood is full of anxieties.

Oh yeah, one new wrinkle is my efforts at freelance writing in order to earn some curtain money. Yeppers, I sometimes sell some articles, written at the fantastic pay rate of about 25 cents an hour.  I am earning a redecorated front room one curtain panel at a time.  I really do enjoy the writing, but I’m not fooling myself about the prospects of making a fortune in the writing field.  Not the freelance one, anyway.  It’s just another attempt to punch my way out of the paper bag of the corporate world.  Something’s gotta give one of these days.

So that is where I’m at in this slushy world of mine.  Still mommying, still writing, still running (with the goal of doing a longer run, like a half marathon, but this ice-on-the-trail thing keeps setting me back).  Maya the pup continues to amuse by scurrying or backing over her invisible barrier (poor brain-damaged beast), but I love my little buddy dearly.  She brings some warmth and love to the endless winter.

beautiful Maya

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~ by rebuildingholly on April 14, 2013.

6 Responses to “The Only Thing That Is Constant…”

  1. I can so sympathize with you… I am doing the opposite of you though..getting the last 2 kids prepared to fly the nest , so many details and yes i am gearing up for that emptiness that is sure to hit.. I’m glad you let your son return as that is exactly where he needs to be.. with his family while he re-balances..On the bright side I head to New Orleans Sunday in hopes of securing a new place to live.. wish me luck!!

    • Best of luck to you! I’ve been looking back to New Orleans with much fondness. What a city full of life, and for me, the smells of spring!

      I’m still letting it sink in that my son is back for a while, though I realize he’s very adult and being very practical. I went through the empty nest before (it has its benefits), but I’ve always realized that this is what family is for–steady love, and support when it is needed.

  2. Hang in there Holly….

  3. It’s actually not a bad “hang,” at least for my son’s return. I figure I’ll enjoy his company while I have him here. It’s not likely he’ll come back after he leaves the next time! As far as my daughter, I just keep telling myself that worrying in advance will do nothing for me. Hell, it will do nothing for me when I actually have something to worry about!

  4. I have to say that if I were in your neck of the woods I would be full-on, batcrap crazy from the protracted winter! I would also be completely out of condition from using every possible excuse to avoid running in the snow and cold.
    Keeping your kids and their respective ambitions/goals in my thoughts that the exact right opportunity presents itself for each of them.

    And curtains. I’ll keep your curtains in mind too. 🙂

    • Thank you for all the kind thoughts. Yes, I am obsessed with curtains. When I walk Maya on actual streets, I stare at people’s windows and dream of the curtains I will be able to afford when I am 70. I’m pretty sure I am freaking people out with my staring…

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