Don’t You Worry Child

real heroes, going with the flow

Computer Boy and the Skydiver

Too often I feel impatient watching others diving into their lives when they sort of find their groove.  Naughty me.   Here are a couple examples to irritate you.

A good friend of mine is a yoga instructor.  She’s young and lovely, and she was the most talented yogini I’d ever seen when I was in class beside her.  There was absolutely no yoga challenge she couldn’t tackle and master.  She has the most amazing strength and coordination!  I wouldn’t be surprised to see her break the bounds of gravity and levitate one of these days.  However, she was living a tortured existence for years.  She was working in a financial office for forty hours a week, doing quite well working with numbers, and hating every second of her time there.  It was such a poor fit for her free, funky, and thoughtful soul!  She’d spend a bit of time e-mailing me (and others?) from work to save her sanity.  She was “dismissed” from her job about a year ago, and I heard this great sucking noise from miles across town as she took a deep breath, and then she shouted, “Free at last!  Free at last!  Thank God almighty, I’m free at last!”  At least I’m pretty sure that’s what I heard.  I started to spot her name everywhere, holding yoga classes, giving talks on wellness, and taking part in workshops and retreats.  Yogini Woman told me she spent only a couple days in panic, and then she KNEW in her heart that everything was right, and she dove in.  She’s been doing wonderfully ever since.  But most of all, she’s true to herself again.

And then there is my oldest child, my son Computer Boy (to whom I again give thanks for revamping the layout of my blog…now if we can only get the increased font size to stick, all would be well, and you’d think his mother could do that, don’t cha?!!  But noooo…).  Anyway, he’s 23 years old and as wonderful a son as there could ever be.  He is a talented computer programmer, athletic in anything he chooses to be, wildly funny, but best of all, he has a deep appreciation for each person’s unique talents and personalities.

The biggest struggle in his young life has been that he hates school.  He enjoys learning, but the school environment has always confined him and threatened to totally extinguish the flame in his soul.  (My oldest brother the anarchist would add, “But of course!  The American system of education is just indoctrination into slavery!!”  but his story is another one…)  My son did well enough, but college has made him very angry.  The truth of the computer field is that it is driven by the young, and older professors simply can’t keep up.  The students have to bite their tongues and choke down the laughter when the profs teach them outdated information or struggle to understand what their students have developed (my son acknowledges the fact there are already youngsters who can run circles around him).  The truth in the University of the Land of Cheese system is that many of the computer professors worth their salt have fled teaching in favor of jobs with security and pay, running the schools’ computer systems or those of private businesses.   My son was left questioning WHY he was racking up thousands of dollars in debt listening to outdated lectures when he was building websites, making apps, and being sought after as a programmer who learns in the way this young computer world does: online, from each other, and mostly from Stanford or the developers themselves.

So, after years of stressing over his plight and struggling with the bill of goods he’d been sold since he was born (College = Good Job)—and thanks for that, Mom and Dad!—he pulled the plug.  He said b-bye to school.  In the end, I encouraged him.  I told him to think of it, to explain it to other people if he must, as taking a break from college to attend to his business.  And if that break takes a hundred years, then GREAT!  I’d expressed doubts about his quitting school in the past, as it is difficult to break my habits even though I do try so hard, but I am 100% behind him now.

Business started finding him quickly, most recently from Hawaii and Arizona; he has a talented graphic designer, a gorgeous sales representative (hey, she’s very smart—smart enough to use everything she’s been blessed with!), and a “bad cop”—his business partner who hashes out the proposals and contracts, and thrives on making business contacts hold up their end of the deal.  These two entrepreneurs are sought-after speakers (even for WordPress camps), will be teaching in a two locations due to grants offered to pay for their expertise (with the money going to their foundation, because they want to do business the right way and GIVE BACK to the world), and are at the forefront of creating a “maker space,” a flexible work space for independent businesspeople and entrepreneurs.  And…I’m losing track, getting too wordy, and showing my mommishness here.

Back to the point.  I’m cheering on the Yogini and Computer Boy with all my heart, but I know they hardly need it.  I recognize it when people are caught up in the Flow of Life (love those Deutsche capitals, by the way).  It’s amazing.  Life moves along, and they are loving it, happy with themselves again, and ready to face anything that lies ahead of them.

Then fools like me start to go, “Now WAIT A MINUTE!  When will it be my turn?   I know I’m stubborn and my little mind is painfully busy, but STILL!!!”  However, I am not to judge.  I’m meant to keep faith in the ways of Providence.  It’s usually in looking back that I see the logic in the path I’ve been on.

Oh yeah, there’s a daughter in all this, too.  My dear daughter in the East, who has never even heard the  sound of any drummer but her own.  Do other drummers even exist?  She sent me a link to this video on my Facebook page, saying, “Mom, I think you’ll like this.”  And I do!  Now I can dance while I wait.


~ by rebuildingholly on November 12, 2012.

21 Responses to “Don’t You Worry Child”

  1. Drummin and dancin Holly, a higher power, patience.

  2. Wonderfully inspiring – we all have to find our own rhythm and inner dancing, no matter how long it takes!

  3. not quite the crowd, but we went dancin’ to the music last saturday night–so fun.

  4. We all have that inner drummer it’s just a matter of pausing to hear them.. Shh, hear yours? 🙂

  5. Still trying to find my inner dance and beat. Always think it is soooo close. Love that darling pic.

    • I’m sure you are close! It’s hard to slow down and let it happen, though.

      That pic is one of my favorites. They are Superkids, even though they’re in their twenties now. And I saved those sweet jammies…

  6. I love this. I love the affirmation of living who you are meant to be. It’s especially awesome that you are a mother who could parent children to do this before their 50’s! Fortunately it’s never too late to become who you are, right? Rock on soul sister.

    • NEVER too late! My kids are an example of when people take advice better than the person who gave it does. Of course, I’ve been a little limited by lack of backup funds, as all that tuition was expensive! Clearly, one of those bills is done now, but the next will be done in May.

      BTW Terri/Terrilee (never know which to use, so lemme know), it’s so good to hear from you again! You must have been busy LIVING or taming bobcats again…

      • Good point on having to be able to take the advice!
        Terri – but Terrilee works too. I didn’t grow up as Terrilee (middle name, Lee) but had to have a new email address for work and every other combination was taken. So people who knew me through work started calling me Terri Lee, and thus I have evolved. But mostly Terri.
        Just a bit crazy here, I mostly have to stand all day in order to work and it’s funny – but I don’t feel as creative then. Weird? Plus struggling some days with the attitude, with all this back stuff going on, so the muse then isn’t very positive or pleasant. Not that I’m all that positive anyway, but it’s worse those days. HOWEVER we will get through this and to the other side. Where there will be another river to cross. ahahahahaha!

      • Terrilee sounds so southern and sweet…don’t suppose that would work, would it? 🙂 Being from another time ages and ages ago, and a bit farther south, I am also Holly Sue, which my mom ALWAYS used.

        OK, you can work mostly standing up? What do you do?

      • It does sound southern and sweet, doesn’t it? – a dichotomy on several levels since my parents were born in South…Dakota and I was born in Arizona. The ‘sweet’ dichotomy is obvious… 😉

        Holly Sue is SO southern! I can hear it in my mind 😉

        I work from home for the Memphis Runners Track Club. I’m the only ’employee’, we’re a 501(c)3, about 2100 households, 3100 members. I believe we are the 5th largest member club of the RRCA. We contract to provide finish line services for area events (about 60 per year) which is the income we use for equipment purchase and maintenance, club events, etc. We have several club events: the Winter Off Road Series, the Women Run/Walk Memphis program (10 week beginning runner program with a Graduation 5K) twice annual KIDS! Run training and race for little ones 3-13, and a 10-race Road Race Series (of which the last race was today). I do memberships, contracts, scheduling, communcations, inquiries, registrations for club events, create and mail the race packets for both series, land mail, deposits, manage the facebook page and some of the website(s) etc.

        I’ve put my laptop at a bistro table in my sunporch and can stand to do a lot of the email, etc. We/I g lots of email with running questions, race questions, etc., plus Board business. It’s really an awesome job, and if I needed to support myself on it I would fully qualify for all types of food stamps and health care and stuff. Fortunately the hubs makes it possible for me to have my ‘play’ job that I love. I love these crazy runners.

        If you want, you can check us out, our website is and there’s a link to our FB page on the homepage. If you do FB and want, you can like the page, I try to do helpful posts on running and nutrition altho a lot of it is club info too.

      • Wow! If you ever need an assistant to share your poverty, I’ll put in my application. It sounds like a wonderful job–one with MEANING–and I like the work conditions. It’s interesting that you provide finish line services (I’ll need more explanation if that’s food and recovery or what) as we’ve been getting quotes for a new timing company for our 5K There are huge differences between timing companies and the services they provide. My job as a registration coordinator looks as if it may become much easier, as I may not have to tag bibs or prepare schwag bags next year (it was voted out in a meeting I couldn’t attend; are they a thing of the past?). Thanks for the link to your track club page. I can do a lot of poking around on it! Also, I never knew such large running organizations exist. That’s what I get for living in small towns…

      • we contract to provide basic finish line services (set up/tear down start/finish line(s), start the race, time it, compile results for the event to use for awards, publish results on our website and send them to the newspaper. For a card finish we charge $500 plus $1/runner over 400 finishers. For chip timing it’s at least twice as much, with some other costs thrown in also, whether we assemble the packets or they do, $1 per runner over xxx (I think 1,000) plus the stuff above. We only chip time a couple events, being all volunteer (but me) we don’t have the manpower to do it. We do chip time our own events, the RRS and WORS. We also will provide cones and cone the course for $250, and there other incidentals we’ll provide on occasion.

        Yes, a lot of events are going to virtual race bags – very “green” – google ‘virtual race bags’ and you’ll find lots of info.

        Do you do online regs? What venue do you use? When I started we used but I immediately pushed everything I could to racesonline as they are MUCH more user friendly. For the RRS we pushed only online regs, no hard copy, saving me tons of time; if they adamantly didn’t want to pay via cc online they can chose the ‘mail-in’ option, do the reg online, print the confirmation and mail it to me. This greatly reduced my data entry work because I enter every hard copy reg so we have them in the database for broadcast emails. How do you work your regs?

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