Things I Know For Sure…At Least for the Next Five Minutes

It was an eye-opening day in the Qube.  In fact, it’s been an eye-opening couple of weeks.  Most Qube incidents were not major, but they were little gifts from God that helped to clarify a few things in the life-rebuilding process.  I’ve been way too busy to post much about rebuilding, partly because the topics are so complex that it’s hard to know how to break them down into digestible bits.  I’m working on it!  There is an algebra equation in progress (or maybe a pie chart, but those are lame), and the theory of everything is under way.  I have two more weeks of being a six-credit college student on top of being a full-time corporate zombie.  After that, the overanalysis will kick into high gear, or rather overANALysis.  You know what I mean.

Things I know for sure (Warning!  Repeated themes!):

  1.  The corporate environment is poisonous.  It brings out the worst in people, such as competition when there is supposed to be teamwork, scrutiny for the purpose of finding fault, self-advancement at the cost of others, and the application of belittling, chastising, and scolding in the manner of a dysfunctional parent with a two-year-old.  I will never belong in a corporation, and I know in my heart that it is better to die trying than to become complacent and slide further into zombiehood.  And I work in a GOOD corporation.
  2. I simply can’t keep up with a full-time job and six credits of college classes.  However, I can take fewer credits—if I can’t manage to reduce my work hours somehow.  The classes have been very good for rattling my cage, making me focus, and exposing me to a far broader world than that of Corporate Zombieland.  The politics of academia also suit me much better.  I have to keep it up until I find a way to permanently break free of the Qube.
  3. Faith has to play a part in rebuilding.  I do believe that God has a good plan for my life, or, in a more Zenlike way, that I am in exactly the place I should be at this time and any time.  This doesn’t mean I have to stop trying, but that I have to be an active participant on this ride, whether I understand it or not.  There is a better life for me, vocationwise, a better way to spend the majority of my precious waking hours, which feel so misspent right now.
  4. Life is not meant to be lukewarm, just OK, or harmless.  Not my life, anyway.
  5. Writing may play a big part in rebuilding.  This is much more fun than I anticipated.

I am tapped out…

actually, this looks a bit like me!


~ by rebuildingholly on May 2, 2012.

9 Responses to “Things I Know For Sure…At Least for the Next Five Minutes”

  1. I too work for a big corp and at times feel the negative vibes, but when I leave every evening I leave it in that building..
    one step at a time…you’ll get there:-)

  2. Thanks. I’ve considered for so long that I need to change my attitude about the place, but it’s far too clear that I disagree with modern management practices. They create a very negative culture, and it’s wrong to waste most of my life in it. You’re right, one step at a time, but I’ll die trying!

  3. #4 and #5 are my favorites. But I also think that we can rebuild the mundane into something glorious.

  4. I think we can build the mundane into something glorious, too, but my transition will have to occur outside the corp. I thought I could improve my own little corner of that world BUT…it just goes against my “wellness” mentality, I guess. Corporate wellness is an oxymoron. Their atmosphere is detrimental to wellbeing, though it may suit a few poor souls.

  5. I hear you! I’ve been there. Now that I am an outsider, looking in, it is so much more bearable.

    • And how did you manage to become an outsider? (help! please!!!) I’m working on making my way out, but some ways are just not quick enough…

      • I do freelance consultancy work now, which means I still get to play delightful games like corporate cliche bingo, but I don’t get the full brainwashing treatment.

      • Surprise! My son, Computer Entrepreneur Boy, is trying to set me up with a similar line of work. That’s my best shot at getting out. It’s encouraging to know that you did it. You made my day!

  6. LOVE 3,4,5. (not my Life either, btw).thanks for the reminder! 🙂

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