The Very Brief Tale of the S**t Bag in a Tree: A Metaphor

A long time ago (or so it seems), when my beloved Labrador was still alive, and my youngest child was preparing to leave for college, a very meaningful event occurred in my life.  This child, my daughter, was an active person who went on daily walks and bike rides with me.  A couple days before her flight to Florida from the Land of Cheese, we went a final late-summer walk on the nearby bike trail.  We took our oversized Labrador along to loosen up his aging bones.  The dog had to move his bowels, as dogs habitually do on walks.  I am always a responsible poo-picker-upper (I don’t want to lose my bike trail privileges or step in the stuff on a later run), so I performed the amazing trick of turning a plastic bag inside out and scooping up the steaming poo with my hand.  A little background on my daughter—she has the world’s weakest tolerance for stink–so much so that potty-training as a toddler was an adventure.  The girl would gag at the smells that came from her own body.  So, this young lady begged me not to carry the bag of fragrant poo any farther.  I mean, she really, really pleaded and started to gag.  “All right, all right!”  I yelled, and I did what I had to do.  I swung my arm back to toss it far off into the woods…and swung the bag about fifteen feet high into a tree right beside the trail.  The bag was literally impaled on a small branch.  It was absolutely impossible to remove.

We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt, and we did it again when we walked past the bag on our way home.  In fact, I laughed for months every time I thought of it—I had to change my jogging route several times because it interfered with my exercise!

This grand event did give birth to a metaphor:

When you try to do something good, with the best of intentions, but you fail miserably and in a very lasting, public way, it’s nothing but a s**t bag in a tree.

Behold the metaphor!


~ by rebuildingholly on April 28, 2012.

6 Responses to “The Very Brief Tale of the S**t Bag in a Tree: A Metaphor”

  1. Okay I’m not sure HOW I missed this post but this is one of THE funniest things I have ever read! And that you took a picture just makes it absolute perfection!

    • It still makes me and my daughter laugh. I actually have photos of the s-bag for a gallery through the seasons, which worked until a spring snowstorm broke the branch it was on. 😦 One funny thing that happened later was the “tribute bags” that appeared along the trail after mine fell. Those were a mystery. Two very suspicious bags appeared, hanging from trees. I was sooo jealous of a particular sky-blue one…

  2. It’s all cool and not right…but it made for a lasting metaphor in this family!

  3. […] this year. 1,000+ participants and $25,000 raised?! Totally my hero! And. You have to ask her about The Poo Bag. (Sorry for the edit of the title Holly, but I can’t say “s**t” in my blog […]

  4. […] just north of the former location of the metaphorical S**t Bag of fame….   I don’t know whether to call it a Senility Garden or a profound piece of gratis art.  I […]

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