Worst Day Ever

Traveling again..I’m visiting my brother from Oregon, whom I rarely see, at my father’s house several hours south of the Land of Cheese.  We were catching up at dinner about the last year’s events, and we got to my story that made him say, “Oh no–not the weepy eyes!  Now your dinner is completely ruined…”

It was my tale of the Worst Day Ever, a well-deserved title.  To date, I have felt nothing as painful as the three hours between the time I made the appointment to euthanize my loving dog and his death.  It was excruciating.  He was the most stable of personalities, he lay by my side when I was sick, he loved me best…We walked together every day for thirteen and a half years, teaching me to love being outdoors whether the rain was pouring or the temperature was thirty below.  He listened patiently to all my sobbing and all my secrets, and he never told a soul.  As his health and mobility declined in the last year, I prayed that he would die a natural death–really–so I wouldn’t have to make the decision I never wanted to make, to euthanize him, but he kept hanging on, even when he would lie in the weak fall sunshine for hours in the grass, covered with a blanket.  He lived for his walks, and when he could no longer get up, I had to choose.  I woke up one bright morning with the song “Take Me Into the Beautiful” going through my mind, prodding me to let my beloved companion go forward into the Beautiful.  I made the call to the vet and lived though the torment of my decision as I held that sweet, bony dog for the last times.  Every person in the room sobbed as that beautiful old Labrador pushed his head into me and slipped away…

I would do it all again.  A friend of mine once said about dying pets, “Why do we put ourselves through this?”  We do it for the daily love, and yeah, for the laughs they give us.  And fully realizing that it will break my heart to lose a pet again, I will still get another and love every minute of having fur to bury my face in again.

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~ by rebuildingholly on April 21, 2012.

3 Responses to “Worst Day Ever”

  1. Me too.
    So sad for you.

  2. Thanks, Teresa. Sometimes I think we can’t fully appreciate what our pets bring to our lives. My heart aches for this dog, but I’m ready to carry that love on to another pet–in his honor.

  3. Oh my. I am so sorry, but love the way you sent him into the “beautiful” surrounded with your love is wonderful. He was a lucky dog to have you…and vise versa..
    Your next pet will be so spoiled rich in love:-)

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